Information on relationship and sex education for parents of children on the autism spectrum

This page contains additional information for parents’ of children on the autism spectrum or with related disorders, including why high quality RSE is vital for your child. The information below answers some of the most frequent questions we are asked, however as every child is different please attend your child’s school parents’ session to speak to us in detail.

If we are not in your child’s school please contact us for information on one to one referrals.

Frequently asked questions

If your child has special education needs or a disability please also see the FAQs for SEND parents.

My child isn’t comfortable in social situations, so I don’t think they need this kind of education as they would not be vulnerable. Do they have to have it?
  • A report in 2015 by the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme showed that over two years 4,748 reports of sexual abuse against adults with disabilities were reported to 106 of 152 councils in England. The data, secured through a freedom of information request showed that 63% of the 4,748 reported cases were against those with learning disabilities. Research from the US has also indicated that there higher prevalent rates amongst children with autism than those without disabilities. Perpetrators are known to target those that are most vulnerable and unfortunately this often means that children, young people and adults with special educational needs or disabilities are preyed upon.
  • Kiranpreet Rehal, Department for Education (DfE) safeguarding project manager at the National Autistics Society details the three of the many reasons why this may be the case.
    • They are more dependent on others to meet personal and intimate care needs.
    • Not being aware that what is happening to them is even wrong.
    • Communication difficulties that prevent the child from expressing concerns about what is happening to them.
  • The NSPCC states that 90% of CSE victims know their abuser with many being within the family or a care provider. At BigTalk Education our Growing Up Safe Programme is designed to give children a clear framework of what is right and wrong with the language to tell someone if something happens to them.
  • There is an increasing number of threats to children within online environments that we need to protect children from, including ‘sexting’ and cyber bullying which there have been many well publicised incidents occurring with victims on the spectrum.
  • The government  believes that this type of education is vital, so by September 2019 relationship and sex education will be statutory.
My child doesn’t cope well with change, he/she gets very upset and anxious, how do you deal with that?
  • Where possible we deliver within the normal classroom environment to minimise the disruption to the pupils’ routine.
  • We are clear from the outset what the lesson includes and what will be the pupils’ required behaviour and input. This is to reduce any possible anxiety.
How do you help my child interpret risky social situations that may happen, I am worried this will be hard for him/her?
  • Risky and safe scenarios are shown visually but are elaborated on using ‘social stories’ as recommended by the Autism Society.
  • We present information in a literal, ‘concrete’ way, which may improve a person’s understanding of a previously difficult or ambiguous situations or activity.
  • By providing information about what might happen in a particular situation, and providing some guidelines for behaviour, we aim to reduce anxiety of these social situation.
I am worried my child will not engage in your lessons, what should I do?
  • Participation such as; giving thumbs up or down, completing the physical actions to denote the private areas of the body, or verbal, or written communication are not mandatory for all children in our lessons or workshops.
  • If you have concerns over your child’s ability or willingness to participate, please speak with us at the parents meeting (for primary) or speak with school (for primary or senior) and our team can ensure that your child’s requirements are understood prior to the delivery of their sessions.
What will you teach my child about their body and will they understand?
  • It is important to clarify that the Growing Up Safe programme goes beyond the NSPCC’s pants rule, as abusers may not only target children in this area. This is why it is particularly important to teach those on the autism spectrum who communicate in a very literal way that other areas are also private.
  • To do this we classify the four private areas of the body which we use to teach about good and bad touches, these include the chest and mouth area, in addition to the genital area and the bottom.
I’m worried that my child will take the four private areas quite literally and will not let me touch them at all, even for goodnight kisses?
  • The private areas are places where we do not look at our touch other people (or them us) unless we are happy and want them too. We explain so touches are good, for example bedtime kisses.
  • We explain to the children that there are exceptions to the four private areas rule.
  • These being the children themselves, they must take care of and wash their private areas.
  • Doctors, dentists and health care professionals who made need to examine certain areas of the body dependent on the situations. E.g. Listen to their heart using a stethoscope on their chest.
  • Also parents may need to assist them, particularly for younger children in things such as toileting or if they have a problem.
My child is displaying sexually inappropriate behaviours such as touching themselves/others, or using inappropriate language, can you help?
  • BigTalk Education can deliver one to one or small group sessions with autistic or special needs children either in proactive or reactive referrals.
  • We accept referrals from variety of organisations such as schools, children’s centres, social workers, education welfare officers or parents directly.

Introduction to age appropriate RSE

Our guide to high quality, age appropriate relationship and sex education for your child, helping you know what to expect from us.

Parent’s sex education questions answsered

We answer the most frequently asked questions that parents’ ask us about relationship and sex education.

Parents’ of SEND children: FAQs

Information for parents of special educational needs and disabled children, including our mainstream and special school programmes.

Parents’ feedback on the Growing Up Safe programme

Read the comments of other parents and their experiences with the Growing Up Safe programme, in their child’s school.

Operation Hydrant is the police initiative set up in 2014 to coordinate investigations into allegations of non-recent child sexual abuse. This factsheet from Operation Hydrant gives some basic information on reporting historic abuse to the police and what is involved.

To report non-recent child abuse to the Police

Operation Hydrant is the police initiative set up in 2014 to coordinate investigations into allegations of non-recent child sexual abuse. This factsheet from Operation Hydrant gives some basic information on reporting historic abuse to the police and what is involved.

To report non-recent child abuse to the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse

The Truth Project was set up for victims and survivors of child sexual abuse to share their experiences in a supportive and confidential setting. It’s part of the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse (IICSA) which was set up in 2015 to investigate organisations and institutions that have failed to protect children from sexual abuse.

HAVOCA – Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse
HAVOCA is run by survivors for adult survivors of child abuse. They provide support, friendship and advice for any adult who’s life has been affected by childhood abuse. Their website includes information on finding professional help, a survivors forum and details on survivors support groups near you.
National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC)
NAPAC (the National Association for People Abused in Childhood) offers support to adult survivors of all types of childhood abuse, including physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect. Their website also contains free online resources and information on legal advice, support groups and much more.
One in Four
One in Four specializes in supporting survivors of sexual violence and abuse, and particularly survivors of child sexual abuse and trauma. They can assist in helping survivors access long-term, low cost Counselling for men and women over 18 years,  psychoeducation groups and workshops plus advocacy and help with reporting abuse.
Rape Crisis
Rape Crisis offer help if you've experienced rape, child sexual abuse or any kind of sexual violence. They can provide details of local Rape Crisis services.
Samaritans
Whatever you are going through you can always speak to someone at Samaritans. As a non-religious organisation offer a safe place for you to talk any time you like, in your own way – about whatever’s getting to you. Call them on 116 123.24 hours a day free of charge. Alternatively you can visit your local Samaritans branch.
Survivors UK
Survivors UK is a charity for specifically for Male survivors of rape and sexual abuse. They can offer a range of support services including counselling and therapy appointments as well as online chat. All services are provided by trained professionals who as specialists in the field of male sexual violence have helped many men to work through their experiences.
Victim Support
Victim Support is a UK charity which delivers tailored support to help people recover from the effects of crime and traumatic events. They can provide emotional and practical help. They also have resources for children & young people that have been victims, as well as their parents and teachers.
Rehab for Addiction

Rehab for Addiction aids individuals affected by substance misuse and their loved ones, providing a wide array of services to guide you towards the most effective treatments. They support with alcohol rehab, drug rehab, detox services, intervention, aftercare, and outpatient counseling, all facilitated by various reputable UK Private Addiction Rehab or NHS/Council-Funded providers.